I’m a Sex Therapist, and These Are the Top 3 Questions Couples Ask Me

BY:UNLIMITEDCHOICESCLUB


Welcome, readers of Unlimited Choices Club! Today, we delve into a topic that is often surrounded by stigma but is an essential component of healthy relationships ā€“ sexuality. As a sex therapist, I have had the privilege of assisting couples on their journey towards a fulfilling and intimate connection. In this blog post, I will answer the top three questions that couples commonly ask me, providing valuable insights and guidance.

1. How can we reignite the passion in our long-term relationship?

Many couples find themselves facing a gradual decline in passion and sexual desire as their relationship matures. However, there are various techniques to reignite the flame and reconnect on a deeper level.

One effective strategy is to prioritize quality time together, both in and out of the bedroom. Engaging in enjoyable activities as a couple can provide a sense of closeness and serenity, ultimately enhancing intimacy. Additionally, engaging in open and honest communication about each partner’s desires, fantasies, and preferences can help strengthen the emotional bond and reignite the passion.

2. How can we address mismatched libidos?

Sexual desire often fluctuates between partners, leading to one partner having a higher libido than the other.This mismatch can create tension and frustration within the relationship. However, it is important to approach this issue with empathy and understanding.

Start by recognizing that differing libidos are normal and common. It’s crucial to avoid blaming or shaming your partner for their level of desire. Instead, try to have an open and non-judgmental conversation about your needs and desires.

There are several strategies that can help address mismatched libidos. One is to explore the underlying reasons behind the difference in desire, such as stress, hormone imbalances, or unresolved conflicts. Seeking professional help from a sex therapist can provide valuable insights and guidance in managing these factors.

It can also be helpful to establish a compromise by finding a frequency of intimacy that satisfies both partners. This could involve scheduling regular intimate time together or experimenting with different forms of intimacy that both partners find enjoyable.

Lastly, it’s important to remember that sexual satisfaction goes beyond just intercourse. Intimacy can take many forms, including cuddling, kissing, or engaging in sensual activities that do not necessarily involve intercourse. Finding alternative ways to connect physically and emotionally can help bridge the gap between differing libidos.

3. How do we communicate about our sexual desires and fantasies without feeling embarrassed or judged?


Open and honest communication is crucial for building a strong and satisfying sexual relationship. However, discussing our deepest desires and fantasies can be intimidating or embarrassing for many couples.

Here are some tips to navigate this sensitive topic:

First, create a safe and non-judgmental space for open communication. Assure your partner that you value and accept their desires without judgment. Encourage them to share by being receptive and supportive.

Next, start the conversation by focusing on positive aspects rather than perceived shortcomings. Frame it as an opportunity to explore new experiences and deepen your connection, rather than as a criticism or a means to fix something that is “wrong.”

Consider using non-verbal cues, such as sharing articles, books, or movies with sexual themes, to initiate a dialogue. This can create a more relaxed and indirect way to express desires and curiosities without directly stating them.

Additionally, try using “I” statements to express your own desires and fantasies, which can make your partner feel more comfortable reciprocating. For example, say, “I’ve been thinking about trying X, and I wonder how you feel about it” rather than demanding or pressuring them to fulfill your fantasies.

Remember that not all desires or fantasies need to be acted upon. It’s essential to have open discussions about boundaries and establish consent for.

exploring any new experiences. Respect each other’s boundaries and comfort levels, and be understanding if there are certain desires that one or both partners may not want to pursue.

If opening up about desires and fantasies still feels challenging, seeking guidance from a sex therapist can be highly beneficial. They can provide a safe and non-judgmental environment to facilitate these conversations and offer strategies to enrich your sexual connection.


Navigating the realm of sexuality and intimacy can be both exciting and challenging for couples. By addressing common questions and concerns, we hope this blog post has provided valuable insights into the world of sex therapy. Remember, open communication, empathy, and a willingness to explore are key to fostering a healthy and fulfilling sexual relationship.

As always, seeking professional help from a sex therapist can offer personalized guidance on your journey to whole-body wellness. Embrace the unlimited choices you have in creating a thriving and passionate relationship.


hi, I’m Jennifer

Iā€™d love to know; where are you from? There are so many new faces, and itā€™s always fun to see where everyone is located! Most of you probably know, but I live in New York and have been calling this beautiful place home for 15 years now.

Near or far, comment below and let me know where youā€™re from!

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